Confessions from Table Lodge

(A quick photo from Table Lodge. From left to right Timmy, Malcom Berry (Alberta Deputy Grand Master), Bert, Me, George Tapley (District Deputy Grand Master)

Well I set out to Zetland's 11th annual Table Lodge with every intent of holding to my fast. I had the caterer prepare me a special meal of breads, cheese and a light broth. And I even had juice to put into my cannon (glass). However, when it came time to charge my glass, I chose the wine. And then once having done one toast of wine, I kept them coming. Luckily I regained my senses before getting drunk, and made it home by eleven.

One of the biggest problems with any sort of committment is dealing with failure. I am prone to feeling overly guilty when I dont live up to promises I make with myself. When I go out with friends and cave to temptations, I can spend days or weeks in a sort of prison of guilt and self-ridicule, is this a good thing, or is this a bad thing? I am not quite sure. We all fall, and from falling we learn how to brush ourselves off, and stand back up. We can dwell on it, or we can just stand up. It is also my experience that dwelling can lead to an almost paralysis if it is allowed to fester in our minds. Thus when I woke up today, I made the conscious decision to, as Dyron would say "Think positive". I rolled out of bed, put both feet on the floor and said, "Just because you fell last night, does not mean the fast is over."

Too may times when I break a committment to myself, I view that break as something that brings the committment to an end. I view it like I am going to have to start the whole process all over again, but I know that this is not the correct way to look at it. And in the season of Lent, I dont think that this is the way christianity views the topic either.

As you know I am currently wading through the letters of Paul to the Conrinthians. And as luck (ya right) would have it, my reading today touched on failure in the guise of another topic. The topic in question, was non other than our ever beautiful carnal desires.

Now in the days of the early church, the christians of the day literaly beleived that the judgement was days, weeks or months away. They therefore beleived that part of their duty was to prepare themselves for the judgement. And so with this preparation Paul is asked whether or not the christian should be having sex. As sex was viewed as part of mans lower nature. That is, part of his animal instinct. And not part of his higher nature. That is his divinity.

To this Paul basically says, (in my interpretation that is) that sex is ok. That christianity is not meant to eliminate the the instincts and passions of man. But rather it is christianity's plan to use these things to glorify god. And yes even the act of sex can be used to glorify god. Sex can be something pornographic and adultorous, or sex can be something to glorify god as when a loving man and women unite.

So what does this have to do with drinking, or any other of activity that can be viewed sometimes as contrary to G-d and/or Religion. I believe it means that in any activity we can find Glory, or we can find Agony. Our goal should be to have a healthy relationship with our activities. Thus drinking in such a way that builds fellowship and friendships is a good thing. But to drink in a way that puts us at odds with friends and/or family is a bad thing. Even though I drank last night, I did it because, in my mind, it in some way brought me closer to the festivities and the brethren around me. And for this I should not feel guilty. So I guess in a way this blog is a sort of confession. And with all confessions it provides me with closure.

And so I will say good night. Good Night