Fasting and Sacrifice

Normally I fast twice a year for a period of two weeks. Normally I fast simply to clean out my insides, or to get a start on a diet. Normally my fast has little or nothing to do with Religion. This fast is different. And so far the experience is absolutely different.

On my normal fasts, my mind tends to focus on fitness. Instead of eating I work out. I think about the weight I am trying to lose. I am sure this is the same psychology for any type of sacrifice. When you give up something you tend to think a lot about why you have given it up? So not surprising, a lenten fast tends to invoke much thought toward God in General, and this character of Jesus Christ in particular.

Now I am by no means an authority on christianity, but I am trying to figure it out. I am trying to understand it. And I believe that there is much in this Lenten fast as far as spiritual fodder goes. Some have campared the Lenten fast with a sort of walk in the wilderness. A way of understanding the despair one feels when they feel lost and out of the grace of God. One might say starving for Gods love. The christian moves through this wilderness (fast) with his/her eyes set on the cross, knowing that after the cross the hunger ends.

This little excersion into starvation is suppose to represent the christians journey into christianity. The fast represents the time before becoming a christian. The cross represents the killing of the old self. And then Easter represents the rising of the new man. The end.

I guess my only problem with this whole thing is "why christianity?" What I have just tried to articulate holds true of any rebirth. It holds true of any change. If a murderer decides to change his/her lifestyle, the process will be the same. There will be the time when he/she was a murderer. The time when he/she stops being a murderer. And the time when the new man (not a murderer) arises. This is fundamental of any change. And I doubt you would find any religion, or cult that would argue that this is not the normal process of change. So why is it a Religion.

Most people who know me, know that I do not have a problem with God. I do not even have a problem with the character of Jesus Christ. Nor do I have a problem with the Old or New Testament. Or for that matter, any other book in print. For all of these things, are just that, things. Not saying that Jesus is just a thing, but in a way he is. He is a character in a narrative of a story. We can argue whether that character actually walked the earth till the cows come home. But nonetheless he is a character. Just as you and I, are characters in the narratives of all of our friends and relatives. To some we are sinners, and to some we are saints.

So if he was just a character. And if we are just characters, why do christian focus on him? There are christian truths that happen to all of us as we grow and become. But just because they happen to us, does not mean that we are christians. For most of my life I have felt pretty close to God. However, I can look back and reflect on times when I did not acknowledge that presence. Hell you might even say I ran from it. And there is also a point in my life, when I stopped running from it, and started walking toward it. To a christian this might sound a lot like the conversion to christianity. But I will hold firm, this is not about becoming a christian, this is simply part of life. Part of growing. Part of becoming. It is no more a religion than mathematics.

And so there it is. I am simply a man embarking on an age old tradition. Not because I am the member of a church. But because I beleive there is much to be learned in the process of self sacrifice. Will it bring me closer to God, I doubt it. Will I be any more or less a heathen or a christian when it is over, I doubt it. Will I be proud of myself if I am able to stand strong. Will I gain confidense knowing that I can still accomplish something so long as I set my mind to it. Will that confidence spill over into other aspects of my life "damn straight"