Relationships

Well Valentines Day will soon be upon us. For some this will be a day of love and all that goes with it. But for others, like myself, it will just be another day of being single. Not that i really mind so much, because all I seem to see around me are a multitude of dysfunctional relationships. And, in my own defense, I can be just as dysfunctional on my own, thank you very much.

I have friends going through divorces; friends feeling like shit because they dont get enough affection; friends who feel their boyfriends/girlfriends are cheating on them; friends who are cheating; bla bla bla. I just dont get it.

I think the real problem is that none of us know, or have any idea of what we are suppose to do in a relationship. Our grandparents knew, and they made it work. Some of our parents knew, and some of them made it work. But today, I dare say that not too many of us have a clue. I know I dont have a clue. And looking around me, that seems to be the rule rather than the exception.

I have always thought that relationships are about helping to meet our needs. It is a give-n-take sort of thing. I will help you with this need or yours, if you help me with this need of mine. A long time ago, the man needed someone to take care of his family while he went out to gather food or make money. A woman needed someone to gather food, and bring home money so that the home could be provided for. It was a symbiotic relationship. So what happens when individuals construct a world that is self sufficient. What if they decide to "do-away" with certain things rather than find a relationship that will provide for them.

I know that I dont overly think about the fact I am not in a relationship. For the most part I am too busy to think of such things. Although when I am sitting alone on a saturday night watching a movie, I cannot help but miss those bye-gone days of cuddling on the sofa and being forced to perform a foot massage (Patricia....). And I am sure that come Tuesday evening, I will be thinking about all that I am missing, by not having a valentine.

St. Augustine once said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." I am not sure about that. I would give anything to have never loved at all. It was that innocence and ignorance about the whole process that made it so intoxicating. Now, having loved many times, there is no mystery. It is just another thing you do, like eating cake, or doing the dishes. I dare say the illusion has been broken.