Things are picking up

Well I put some xmas lights on the old patio last night, so I am sort of getting in the christmas spirit. I will need to decide whether to put up a tree in the coming days. The new apartment definatly would look good with a tree. There is plenty of room, and it would be nice to have one. I just have to weigh my options and make a decision, I guess. The snow is coming down pretty good outside. The roads are slick and people are driving like idiots. I had to go out to Turner Valley this morning to look at a basement that flooded in June. It was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. But it will be a good two days work for the boys, which is good, cause things are kind of slow, and I feel really bad when I cant give them the hours I know they want/need. Things would be so much simpler if I just didnt care, but unfortunatly that is not me lol. It also looks like we will land another big mould job next week up by Red Deer, so thing should be pretty smooth for the next week or so around the office. Looks like I am gonna be chaperoning Jen and Jessica to the Motley Crue concert in April. Yes I am a little afraid, I dont think anything could prepare me for something like that. Hell, sometimes I get a little nervous being in the same room with those two when a Motley Crue song comes on the radio. Maybe if I am lucky they will become groupies after the show and I wont have to drive them home lol. Btu seriously, it should be fun, I am going to grab tickets on Friday, I sure hope I can get good seats. Shauna gave me a password for the HOB website, but when I went on, it randomly selected seats, and they were like in section U, not very good. So I think it will be better to just be at a ticketmaster when they open on Friday, and hope for the best. Installation at Lodge is this week, I will be moving into the Junior Deacons chair. I think I am pretty much ready for the ceremony, but Clay and I have not had much time to practice our cadence, and flag work, so it might be a little dodgy. I will be getting my tux fitted tomorrow morning, and it should be all ready for Thursday afternoon, cutting it a bit close, but hey, that is just who I am. Not sure what is going on with Herb. I had hoped he was going to be able to help me with my paper, but he as yet to respond to what I have written so far. I am hoping we will get to chat at Installation. Not much else going on. I have been a pushover lately, and have been giving Jessica far too many rides to and from work. But when I look outside and see the snow howling and the wind blowing, and I imagine her walking in that crap, cursing and swearing. It just makes me pick her up. I am sure that cute, happy smile could turn just about anyone into a PUSHOVER. If not, nothing a headbutt wont fix.

Eskimos win the Cup

Well the weekend has finally ended, and wow what a weekend it was. As I already told you friday was great, with the hockey game and all. Saturday, the day after turned out to be a melancholie day. I went to the Blue Goose Dart league at Dickens pub. The usual suspects Ivor, Chris, Gerard, Lenora, and Al were there. I did not play that well, and only managed one victory from the lot. But I did learn a new dart game called bow tie, I will tell you about that abother time. I managed to suck back a few beers and get myself into one of those funks. I then went straight from darts to Crush. Now I have been pretty good with the 'only drinking on fridays thing'. But on Saturday I was in one of those 'sit at a bar stool, listen to the jukebox, and drown my sorrows over a few hefty pints of beer' moods. Luckily I was not the only one, in such a mood. I loaded the jukebox up with loonies and Kat and Linsey both offered up a nice selection of depressing tunes, and we all sat their talking about nothing and getting pleasantly numb. However, it was not long until Jenny showed up, and she kept me company until it was time to go to the play. The Manchurian Candidate, was a bizarre play. I didnt like many of the players chosen for most of the parts. The play seemed too cluttered, and busy. There were televisions spitting out images, and sound bites all over the place. It was like a quinton terrentino movie, on stage. It probably did not help that I was pretty much pissed out of my tree before I ever arrived. Strangely enough Gavin (the pianist from Campbell-Stone) was there with a friend. I am sure he was laughing at me for being so drunk. He was especially surprised when I showed up for church the next day, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Good thing I went to bed early on Saturday. Church yesterday was ok. I picked up Meghan from the NW and gave her a ride. We had a good chat about things, it does not sound like she enjoys bible college, and will hopefully be going to the University of Alberta in January, but she will see. It turns out the college hooked her up with some pretty sheltered american students. Both of which are like 19 and have never even been allowed on a date, without a chaperone. Needless to say, Meghan has been biting her tongue, for most of the school year so far. After church it was home to make my chili for the Grey cup. I also baked a banana loaf, which turned out great. The game was awesome. Although all of us were guilty of hoping Jason Maas would start, and when it looked like we were gonna lose, we were insulting the shit out of ricky ray. But it turns out we had nothing to worry about, the Eski's kicked ass. After the game was over, I went and picked up a friend, who came over for a movie. I baked some chocolate chip cookies, and we watched Memento. (Damn does that sound gay, I really need to get out on a tear soon lol) Anyway, the movie was seriously fucked up,and I recommend it to everyone who likes a good mental roller coaster. When the movie was over, she walked home in the cold haha, and I went to bed. And all I want to add to that is, Thank-you for coming over,you have somehow made hanging-out cool again. You are the first person, in a long time, that makes me feel comfortable, just doing nothing. You Rawk ;)

Oilers in a shoot out baby

Well my head is in a little pain, but I had a great night. Met Kraig at Crush. He is a pretty cool guy, we played some video games, drank a few beers, and chatted a bit. Turns out he knows Kerri's switzer's brother, a girl I "knew" a few years ago. Then Kraig, Wayne, JTag and I all went to the game. We were sitting in our usual seats, and Wayne and JTag were in the Boston Pizza section up to our left. The oilers took an early lead and held it most of the game. Then the third period got a little tricky, and my memory is a little worse for wear. But I do remember pigging out on hot dogs, nachos with jalepeno's, and plenty of beer, beer and more beer. When the game was over, we had a bit of hard time finding Wayne and spent a bit of time wandering around the saddledome looking for him, however this was all good, because the Oilers did win so we got the chance to heckle the flames fans, and cheer our drunken cheers. We finally found Wayne and made our way out into the streets.

We all went back to Crush, and I got to collect my ten bucks from Brad. Jessica and Cory joined us, and the night continued on, the way every Friday seems to. I tried to convince Kraig not to drive, but he assured me he was alright, so he left around 11, which should have got him home in time, so as not to have upset the miss's. I ended up leaving shortly thereafter, because it looked like it was going to turn into a shit show that I wanted no part of. As well I sort of sensed that if I stayed I was going to say, or do something stupid.

And that is pretty much it, I got home to bed on time and am up early enough to do my blog and get ready for my Blue Goose Dart Game today. Cant wait for a steak, eggs and a pint of beer and clamoto. Oh and yes, in the middle of the night I got up for a glass of water, and found everyone in the living room still partying, so although it would have been nice to hang out, I am glad I made the right choice and went to bed. I hope everyone is still up for movies tonight, but after their night I am not sure when to call. So if anyone reading this, wants to watch movies and chill out tonight, please call me when you awake.

Nooman out

Oilers vs. Flames

Well finally the week is ending, and what a boring week it has been. But that is all going to change, cause the Oil are in town tonight, and it is go time. Taking an adjuster to the game tonight, we are suppose to meet at six oclock at the Saddledome and go for a couple wabbly pops before face off. I sure hope the Oil can pull of a win. I mean we are 0-2 against the flames so far this season which really sucks. Flames are still on there winning streak I think, and the Oil have manage to win 10 of their last 14 so it should prove to be a good game. I sure hope they bloody well show up, cause it was a real bummer doing the walk of shame after the last game. Anyway, I think Wayne a some friends will also be there, and Dirty as well. So, I am sure we will end up going out after. Not much else to say. I will try to enter a blog tomorrow, talk to you later

Uncle Freddie Passes

Well I found out last night that uncle Freddie died yesterday. I did not know him that well, mainly because we live out west and everyone else out east, but also because Freddie lived in a special home, so that even when I did visit Windsor, he was rarely accessible. Freddie was mentally handicapped. I remember as a child not knowing exactly how to deal with him, and I remember how my grandparents and parents dealt with that. "Just ask him to play cards with you Ian", they would say. And I, in my infinite superiority as a child, would give the old "but""but"..."Just go play cards with your uncle Freddie" they would continue. Finally on one of our Sunday visits, I gave in, and sat down at the table to play with him. I remember my father explaining the game to me, I think it was "Go Fish" or something, it was many years ago. I remember me thinking, 'this is silly, should I let him win?' Now this was one of the only days I ever spent 'locking horns' with my uncle Freddie. And yes I was only a child, but I remember losing game after game after game that day. I remember, on subsequent visits not wanting to play because he made me feel stupid. Later in life that day always humbled me when dealing with the mentally challenged, or physically challenged. It gave me a good reference for when I first read "Flowers for Algernon". And it gave me something to think about when things seemed to get a little tough. There are many things we all can do, and many things we cannot. Each of us brings something to the table. Sometimes our fears and prejudices keep us from ever finding other peoples talents or skills. All to often, if someone does not look at the world the way we do, or wish the world, the way we wish it to be, we simply dismiss them. Now don't get me wrong, I never dismissed my uncle Freddie, but today, the day after his death, I do wish I would not have been so afraid of losing, it would have been nice to have been dealt a few more hands from Freddie. Anyway my father and Uncle Chuck will be heading to Windsor on Saturday. I have been trying to get in touch with Grandma, but it appears she is out the house, putting things in motion. Hopefully I will speak with her today.

Wednesday

Well as I said in my last blog, not much happened yesterday. After work, I dropped Jen off at London Drugs. But the funny thing is she didnt really want to go to London Drugs, she was just going there to meet Kimmi. So, I dropped her off at 5 oclock, and Kimmi was not off work till 6. So why didnt Jen just ask to go see Kimmi at work. This i dont know, but I was kind of aggravated, because there would have been less traffic to just go see Kim. So anyway I dropped Jen off, then felt guilty and went to see Kim on my own. Had a pint of beer, and then turned around, drove back downtown and met Jen for Sushi. What is it about Sushi? I mean I told myself, no frivolous spending this week, save money, save money, you have more presents to buy, bla bla bla, but then sushi comes into the picture, and I am like, "Im In" So anyway after sushi went home and watched Nova. It was on Katrina, and god knows I love hurricanes. After reading some of Dyrons emails, and seeing some of his photos in his blog, I think I might even try to follow the cyclone season next year, it looks just as interesting, and exciting. People sometimes wonder why I like natural disaster so much. They say they are aweful. Well, as true as that is, the only thing that unites people as strongly as disasters, is war. And you all know my feelings on that one. Sometimes I think God brings us disasters of his own, to prevent us from starting disasters of our own. I would rather see troups pulling into New Orleans with food and tents. I would rather see the military stopping looters and restoring law and order, than doing the pillaging themselves. Katrina was a eerie disaster, it showed us that sometimes governments dont have a plan, or that if they do, it is not a very good one. It showed us that governments sometimes have their priorities screwed up. But in the end the people united and took care of business. The red cross stood up, community groups stood up. So why then, is there so much controversy over Iraq. How can a country view instability in another part of the world as a higher priority than instability in this one. If you asked Americans which was more important to them, would they answer the Tsunami in India, or Katrina in New Orleans. I think it would be fair to say that New Orleans would rank higher. Americans can be proud that they helped in both cases, it shows their generous nature. But the American government will not be judged by its actions in India, it will be judged for its inaction at home. Why do I love natural disasters, because they perform an audit of our society. If we are ready when they strike, and if we have built our society correctly we will persevere. You dont know how well you built it, until someone tries to knock it down. LOL And my final thought (sorry for being so political this entry) is: sometimes governments dont have a plan. And yes, sometimes all that money they say they have saved, incase something goes wrong, is just an illusion.

Tuesday

Well, it is 16 degrees above zero outside right now, and yes the calendar does say November 22. It is suppose to remain this mild for the rest of the week, and then cool down on the weekend. Whether the weather says so or not, it is definately fall. I can tell by my general lack of enthusiasm getting out of bed in the morning. Everything is dark, and you just feel like you should be hibernating. The sun goes down on your way home from work, and it does not come back until you are almost at the office. Things are still slow in the shop, and adjusters seem hard to find. I think that maybe because of the busy summer, many are taking extra days off to make up for extra hours worked during the floods. Other than wawanesa I have been unable to reach anyone on the phone, which for the most part has made my week extremely boring at work. On the home front the writing is going well. Finally made some headway with Natalie. I have challenged myself to write a scene from her graduating year at high school. I have included a journal entry written by her, which has allowed me to share some of her inner dialogue and thoughts with the reader, without breaking the fourth wall. It is going well, and has allowed me to show the fundamental differences between her world and Benjamins. I do not know where the chapter will lead, but I will try to finish it this week. It may also result in some story changes to previous chapters in order make her world line up better with Bens. I am very proud of the work so far. Not much else is going on. I will be heading to Wawanesa today to drop off some Opera tickets to Suzy. I got them free from Simone, but am unable to go because of the Oilers game on Friday, which I also have tickets for. Luckily, as I suspected, Suzy enjoys the Opera, as I guess all classically trained pianist would, so she will enjoy them in my stead. And I will watch the Oilers kick the shit of the Flames. Pls God Pls. lol NMZ out

Monday

I never thought I would ever hear myself say this, but "thank god the weekend is over". Things started out early friday afternoon, in celebration of Waynes Bday. Wayne, Cory and I at Crush drinking beers and playing pool. We pretty much stayed there until around 5, and then headed back to our place to play some records. Wayne decided to grab a case of beer. We were suppose to get Wayne back to the bar for 7, for his party, and we did succeed. However, it is pretty much a blur considering all the beers back at the house. Also during this time, I in my infinite wisdom decided to start texting Jessica. Texting and drunkeness, should be illegal. But all seemed ok, so off to the bar. Once at Crush for the party, people started to show up and all seemed to be going well. However, right about the same time Jessica walked into the room so did "jack black", my alter ego. I am sure you know where this is going. Sometime over the next hour or so, I successfully pissed off Jessica, and Cory, and god knows who else. Needless to say much of Saturday was spent in purgatory. Sunday, as I stated in my last blog was a typical sunday, went to church, watched some football, and got some writing done. I was hoping to go to Sals last night for the guys last night Djing there, but it ended up getting postponed till next week. So instead I spent an hour or so, drinking a couple pints of beer with a good friend, thanx :)

Benediction

Church went well this morning, I think I needed it. I was suppose to pick up Meghan, but I forgot her phone number at the office. I called her father, but he did not get back to me, until almost ten, which was a bit too late. That is ok, hopefully I will be able to grab her next week. Richot is back from Poland, and I will have to find out how his mission went. Sunde is off to India on Tuesday, to hook up with Dyron, I am sure they are excited.

Spent most of last night retyping the Play that Karl has given Ryan and I to produce in the new year. It is called "A Masonic Trial by the Spanish Inquisition - Madrid 1757." It is a very interesting trial, with much to digest. The dialogue is sharp, intelligent, and well directed to the allegories of freemasonry. It is also funny that there seems to be some parallels between this play, and the research paper that I am writing, which is to be presented next September. I am sure my paper will be a better one for having worked with the guys in presenting this play.

As for my own writing, I have hit another bottleneck with the character of Natalie. And I really need to create a scene that bests captures her essense, and her struggle. Women are so hard to write. So foreign. I have been trying to research some other great female characters in literature, but other than those found in classical literature, like the characters in Little Women, or Pride and Prejudice. There seems to be little to go on. Todays woman seems to be without model, or form. And unfortunately my personal life, seems also, to be bringing me no closer to this riddle.

Capturing it correctly however, will have to be a must, if the current novel is to succeed. I think I might find the answer somewhere between Ayn Rands characters, from The Fountainhead, of Katie and Domnique. It has also been suggested by a few that I try to finish The Red Tent. Although my first attempt was painful at best.

What can I say, women are a far different creature. They seem to see themselves as trophies, yet they also seem to hate the sport for which they award their prize.

Broken

I wonder how much of my life is spent undoing the shit I bring upon myself when I am drunk. It is funny how alcohol distorts your memories. It lets you say things that you know you shouldn't. It turns friends into enemies, and somehow enemies become friends. Drinking and using a phone should somehow be against the law. You probably shouldnt even operate a computer. You should not try to understand anything. You definately shouldnt try to fix anything. Because when you wake up, that thing you thought you were fixing, will no doubt be broken beyond repair.

I think I need a dog

Home alone again last night. Movie on the box. Nachos and salsa on the coffee table. A tall glass of milk poised beside me. Lights low, and long vertical blinds in a half cocked position, letting the city lights filter through to leave slender rows of light across the carpet. Sounds like the perfect evening, except bam, out of nowhere I get lonely. Now some might say that that is normal. But I am not normal, I dont get lonely, or at the least I can say, I am not used to getting lonely. There has always been something to do, always been a cold pint waiting at the pub, and always a conversation sitting at the bar. I have noticed that since I stopped going to the pub, loneliness has been slowly creeping up on me, and now it has managed to get close enough to kick the legs out from under me. I cant be the only one that feels like this, maybe I had it right all those years in going to the pub. But I have noticed one thing, all those single people out there that dont go to the pub, and sit at home, they all have cats or dogs. So it got me thinking, maybe I need a dog. But then I think, how crazy is that. You give up going to the pub, and having conversations with real people, for the healthier option of staying at home, and building a relationship with an animal. Something is not right here. Dont get me wrong, I love animals, but what is everyone so afraid of, are we losing our ability to communicate with each other, or are we so afraid of being hurt that we would rather cuddle up with an animal, than another human being. I guess that is it. We would, because we have .... been hurt that is. So anyway, I think I might start looking at getting a dog. hhmmm I wonder what kind would best suit me. Nooman out

Night Caps

So the idea was to give Jessica a ride home, and on the way to stop into Crush for a night cap. The idea was not to go to Crush and spend a lot of cash. The idea was not for Ryan, Wayne and Cory to come and put drinks on my tab. Like I said the idea was to chill with Jessica over a glass, or two....two tops. But as you guessed that is not what happened lol. Instead, Jessica, Chris (Jess' friend from work, and the Dj we went to see last friday), and I went to Crush, ate and drank a bottle of Yellow label, followed by another two half litres of Yellow Label (Ouch). Tappers, Cory and Wayne also blew in like the wind, and when I went to pay the tab, there were like six extra drinks on my tab (wonder where they came from lol). But that is ok, dont sweat the small stuff, and its all small stuff, right......right. Well I got a lot of shopping done last night, so basically I am broke again. Walmart was a success, cupboards are flush with food again. I also went to Winners and got some new pants, but the hems wont be ready till friday so I didnt even get to wear either of them today. I also stopped into Sears and got a shirt and a Sweater. And believe it or not I found a cool christmas present for my mom, which means I am ahead of the game bigtime, even if I am broke lol. Oh ya and I also put my Tux on Layaway, so hopefully if my end of month bills are not too crazy I will be able to pay it off and pick it up in time for installation. Lodge is going well, it looks like Karl wants Ryan and I to resurrect the Zetland Players. I guess back in the day a bunch of the guys used to travel around to different Lodges and put on a play which is based on the Masonic Trials during the Inquisition, as part of R&E. It sounds pretty cool. We will be picking up a couple scripts on Thursday, so I will let you know more about that one as it plays out, no pun intended. I got a letter from Trafford yesterday, no cheque lol, other than that first little bit of sales things are pretty much flat with the book, which is good I guess. I am thinking I am not going to publish the edited version, the cost is just too much and I would rather put the money toward the one I am working on now, and I do have higher hopes for it. Mainly because I am writing it with a particular demographic in mind, which will make marketing much simpler. I also found out that publishing the second one will be 25% cheaper than the first, which is really good. The first one was definatly a learning experience, and and expensive experience at that. Other notes on the writing front, I have registered my websites, still havn't set them up, but I now own www.iannewman.ca and www.iannewman.org. My buddy Longfellow from Lodge (also a writer) owns an internet company called The Wired Web and he will be helping me get everything set up when the time comes, probably in spring. Lets see, what else. Oh Kelly is finally in a supervised medical detox in Vancouver. She has been in since last week, and will hopefully be there until the 22nd. They want her to stay, so they can get her off that xanax or whatever it is called. As far as I am concerned those fucking doctors should be doing time. I mean when people are trying to kill themselves because they are taking the drugs you prescribed them, what does that make you. But hey, I guess it keeps a larger group from actually looking at there lives and saying, "Hey maybe I dont want to work in this cubicle, and thats why I am depressed"no no it couldnt be that, here take some drugs go back to work, and everything will be ok. Just keep chucking those poor souls into the economic furnace there doc. Not like there the ones paying your salary, right doc, Phizer does that, right doc. Sorry for that rant, anyway her mom will be in Vancouver when she gets out I guess, and then she will be in a sort of halfway house from the beginning of September until she goes into rehab in January. The Aurora program is suppose to be one of the best, so hopefully she will get better. I hope she gets better. On the work front the second bay is finally cleaned out, and the guys will be moving everything over during the next couple of days. It is gonna be great having the shop back to normal. It will also give us the chance to organize everything, and put some new procedures into place. Well I should get back to work, caio

Random Thoughts

Just another day. The usual irratic sleep last night. Waking-up at odd hours to sketchy dreams and images. It was cold last night -14, so my room was far from toasty. It is great having a patio door in your bedroom, in the summer, but the winter proves cool at best. I think I need to look into an additional space heater before the deep freeze comes. The cowboys won last night so I ended the week with a solid 10 which was nice, but it is gonna take a few more good weeks like that to get me back in the game, I am 15 games off the lead right now. Started looking around for xmas presents last night, this year is gonna be a tough one. Dad should be easy as he has already told me what he wants, now the problem is getting one into canada in time for xmas. As for mom, as always, good luck figuring that one out (hint hint, mom if you're reading, ideas, ideas lol). Danny should also be easy. As for everyone around calgary, a trip to the dollar store, and the liquor store (too bad they are not one and the same) should work for 90% of them. I know it has been a good year, because I have a few additions to my list, and I am very much looking forward to figuring out what to buy these new friends. Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Say No More Say No More. lol. I also got around to checking out WalMarts food isles, and think I can scratch a few dollars savings, by transfering some of my safeway items over to Walmart. Things that look cheaper?....Delissio Pizza .... Michelinas .... Tuna .... and basically all the old people food lol. I am also gonna pick up a computer desk for the second-hand computer I recently purchased....man am I beginning to sound domestic. Yes things in the new apartment are starting to come together. It is so nice having a bigger place. The dining room table is cool, I have spent so many years eating off the coffee table I forgot how nice it was to sit straight while eating. Also with the dining set, I have been able to invite a few friends over for dinner and wine, which is a real bonus, and makes me feel grown up lol. (newman grown-up, ya right) I have also, slowly but surely, been picking up plants and other decorations to fill the space, and make it look like a real home, and I hope it gets there by xmas cause i really want to have a cool xmas party, maybe even get a tree, but we will see. Well those are my random thought for the day. caio

A long time coming

Its funny the things we take for granted. Some things seem always to be there, while other seem never to be. The things that are always there we take for granted. Like friends and family. But, we also take for granted the things that are not. We assume they will never be there, and then one day low and behold there they are. Like old friends, who pop into your life, long after you have written them off; Or new friends who somehow turn out to be more than you first expected. It has been a long time since the latter has happened. A long time since someone has turned out to be more than I expected. A long time since someone has been honest with me. A long time since someone did not appear to have alterior motives for befriending me. A long time since someone has taken the necessary steps to developing a real friendship. A long time since someone has not sabotaged any chance of a real friendship. Its been a long time coming. My mind keeps searching for its own escape, unable to accept it. It reads into every action with pessimism, and contempt. It wants to push things in directions that lead nowhere. It wants to sterotype and pigeon hole. It wants to compare, to test, to critisize. It wants to remember pain, and it wants to avoid it. It wants to fall back into routines that keep people at a distance or push them away, because from that distance, no one gets hurt. And from that distance, we are all the same. But we are all not the same. Some are worth trusting, and others are not. Some will be there when the rain comes, and others will not. Some with be there in the morning, and other will not. Some will be there to dry your tears, and some will be there to cause them. The easiest thing to do is just write them all off, why bother when you know the likely outcome? But sometimes, for a brief moment, you feel like maybe you are not alone, and you consider actually letting someone in. Its been a long time coming.

Its

Sunday

Well Sunday morning and the channel is fixed to football. I was up pretty early this morning, but not early enough to go to church, which is ok because it really is not the same without Dyron. His preaching style is just so enjoyable and intelligent. He does not use his voice like some evangelizing preacher from the early nineteen hundreds. He talks to you, he explains the text and how it can be interpreted, he helps YOU figure it out, rather than tell you what you are suppose to think. This is what I think a preacher should do, and why I like Dyrons style so much. Can't wait for him to get back from India, and especially can't wait to hear the tales and adventures lol.

Damn the Vikings scored first against the Giants. I am hoping Eli gets back in the game here, I need a Giants victory.

Well as i said in yesterdays blog friday was a pretty packed day, so I slept most of yesterday. When i did get up and motivated, I met Jessica and we went to blockbuster to pick up some movies. Now it usually takes me around an hour to pick out just two movies, but would you believe we walked in, just started talking and bam we had 4 movies that we both wanted to see in like 4.2 minutes, weird. We rented Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Whale Rider, Requiem for a dream, and a movie called Ravenous. Now as can be expected Charlie was quirky, but great, how could it not be Tim Burton is an absolute Genius, and well Johnny Depp is great, as much as I would like to hate the guy for getting Venessa Paradis before me lol. Whale Rider is brilliant, i have seen it twice now and still cry during the scene where Pika is giving her report, and i dont cry, very weird. I was worried that Jessica would not like it, cause she is more of a meat and potatoes type of girl, but she said she did, so that made me pretty happy. Now Requiem for a dream is pretty, well fucked up. It is mainly about addictions, but not just the usual hollywood thing. As a control the writer had the mother get addicted to diet pills that were prescribed by a doctor, and she basically goes crazy. I liked that, I like the way he used her to make a statement that all addictions can take you down, whether they are legal or illegal. You can be addicted to television and it can be just as insane as an addiction to heroin. It was a bizarre movie, but it had a lot in it. The last movie was called Ravenous, and I must confess I fell asleep somewhere around midpoint. I know it had a few great actors in it, and was basically about canabalism. I will have to watch it again today.

When I woke up last night Jessica was gone. She said she did not want to wake me up. Which is cool but I would have like to have gotten up and said goodbye to her. Things are getting strange in my head. But this is not the place to get into that.

Ok well the Giants got on the board with a field goal. Too little too late, they better get'r tied up by the half. My picks are still hanging on the wall of my office, so I wont know till tomorrow how I did, which is o k I guess, rather than getting all heated over the games as i watch them.

Well that is my blog for today. As I am new to this whole thing, I dont know if I overstepped the bounds in writing some of the personal stuff, but if I did, I am sure I will hear about it. So with that I will bid adieu.

Banff Baby Banff

Well what can I say, but that was a great day. Woke up yesterday at around 630, picked up Jen, went to Timmy's, checked up on the job that came in late on Thursday, nothing really to do there, so it was back home to get ready for the trip. Everything ready by 10 so off to grab Jessica, quick stop to meet Bailey, at which time i realized that we had already met, then home to grab Corey and Bam we are off.

The drive was short and sweet, the traffic moved quickly as if everyone was in a hurry to enjoy their day off in Banff. Once we arrived, it was clear to see that, that was the case the place was packed, parking was a premium, but we did manage to find a space. We walked the main drag, and checked out the shops and a few galleries. I bought a cool new touque. I saw some cool native art, and some really cool polar bear stuff that LeeAnn would love. That would be the only glitch in the day, LeeAnn found her way into my head a few times, but luckily she left quickly thanks to being with friends.

We ate lunch at a greek restaurant. Kalamari, and Lamb pita's, and of course red wine mmmm. Only eventful thing there would be the waitress spilling water on Corey, too funny. After lunch off to Cows for ice cream. Now if you have never been to Cows in Banff it is hillarious. A whole shop dedicated to cow spin offs. Like tshirts that say CowWars, or Hello Cowy. Bloody funny.

Then is was off to Sulphur Mountain. Now the Gondola cost twenty two bucks, and i really didnt want to spend it, but i caved and we went anyway. Bad move, well not really. The ride was short and sweet, the observation area, mediocre, but it did give us a chance to stand on the top of a cold mountain, which meant HOT TUB. Back down the mountain, and into the hot springs.

Hot springs were nice. Girls in bikinis ;). SO what do you do after being in a hottub looking at bikinis, cocktails of course. Back down the mountain, and into St. James pub for a couple pints, some stuffed Yorkies, and artichoke dip. Now I did not think i was gonna see mark, mainly cause I havent seen him in like 6 years, but low and beyold driving down mainstreet I see him in his cab, I try to chase him down, but to no avail. So once in the pub i call the taxi company, they call him and he comes and meets us at the pub. What can I say, it is Mark, he hasnt changed a bit, looks the same, still layed back, and believe it or not he said no to a beer, which is good cause he is a cab driver lol. Anyway had some small chat, and found out that if i need a place to stay in Banff i got one. Or if i wanna have a little vaction this winter, he can get me a room at the Banff Springs Hotel for like 75 bucks, sweet. So it looks like I will be returning to Banff for some good times this winter.

And that my friends was pretty much the day, everyone was tired so we headed back to the city. And let me tell you when we got here I was dead on my feet. But it didnt stop there, went and picked up Jen, and when I got back Rob, Brad, and their friend Kevin or something are sitting in my living room, drinking beer and trying to convince everyone that we should go out. A shit show insued, but luckily we all held our ground and Cory, Jessica, Jen and I all hung out, drank wine and surfed the televison till like 2 in the morning, at which time Jessica and Corey went over to Brendans, and Jen went home. And I went to bed, well actually I sat up watching televion, enjoying a little alone time. Which would be great, if I wasnt upset over you know what.

Emotionally the day was filled with Highs and Lows. I guess the question is, if getting rid of the Lows, meant that you would have to get rid of the highs, would you? Of course not, and with that said, steady as she she goes, course and heading unchanged. Talk to you later

Rememberance

Well tomorrow is rememberance day, so today is like a friday. My favorite memories of rememberance day are from my cadet years. I remember cold and bitter parades, wearing only my C1's, turtlenecks and thin winter gloves. I remember one parade not having clips on our weapons and having to carry them with our finger in the trigger guard. I remember it feeling like my finger was going to fall off. Standing in Sir Whinston Churchill Square, in front of the war monument, for the laying of the wreaths. I remember having to focus on nothing but my finger for fear of dropping my weapon, and letting my division down. I also remember why I did not want to let them down. I remember the images from "All quiet on the Western Front". I remember learning about Dieppe and Vimmy Ridge. I remember that I stood there in the freezing cold, on peaceful ground, with hot chocolate to follow. While, someone my age, seventy years earlier, was holding a weapon just like the one I had in my hands, but he held it in a freezing cold trench, with someone on the other side of the barbed wire firing shells, and lobbing mustard gas at him. I remember all this, because each rememberance day we all took the time to stop and remember. Had we not taken that time, I might have grown up not believing that people can make a difference, or that all people bleed. I might have grown up thinking that nothing good comes of sacrifice. But I do remember, and thus this rememberance day I will bow my head and say those three words that have been etched into my brain since before time immemorial.....LEST WE FORGET. This rememberance day, I will be spending the day doing those things that those men in those trenches were thinking about, to get them through the long days in the trenches. I will be spending it with friends, in the beautiful town of Banff in the Canadian Rockies. I will be eating ice cream, and if there is snow, i will probably start a snowball fight. Knowing that all those soldiers will be looking down, watching us unjoy our freedom. They will raise their glasses in heaven and say, "Yup Boys, IT WAS WORTH IT". To all those who gave their lives for me to enjoy this freedom, I humbly, and repectfully say "Thank you

The Morning Sky

Normally the drive to work is quite dark this time of year, but this morning, another freak of nature. The sky hung low over the northeast, the whites and the pinks seemed to be running from the sky. Behind them, the dark cloads in the east blotted out the sun, but somehow the sunlight was lighting up these lower clouds, so basically all of the northeast looked like it was glowing. Light from the clouds, with no visible sun. It was a bit eerie, like being in the twilight zone. Didnt do much last night. Made some pretty good headway on Chapter three, which i am very proud of. Got some laundry done.....hmmm what else....picked up a friend from work and she came over and watched Crash, which she hadnt seen. That movie is like an ethics rollercoaster. A great reminder that we are all devils and saints. We all do very terrible things, but we also can do incredible beautiful things. It sounded like she liked it, which is cool, I guess that proves that not all women are heartless, bloodsucking parasites. LOL Oh yes, Brenden closed up the shop last night and somehow the motion detector went off after he left, so i had to come all the way to the shop and reset it. Let me tell you I was pissed. Well that is about it from my neck of the woods. Oh yes, and I gave my mom and dad the address to my blog. If you are reading, Hello mom and dad.

Picture of Me

Well I couldnt figure out how to put a picture of me on the damn profile. so here is one that was taken last year for the marque, when I played Inspector Lestrade in the canadian Premiere of "Sherlockes Secret Life" at the Pumphouse theatre in Calgary AB

Da Colts

Alright now some may have had their doubts, but now ya gotta confess, the Colts are gonna win the SuperBowl. Peyton Manning dominated the Pats Defense, and what little Brady had, wasnt enough. YeeHaw. But then again it is all for not, as I ended up sending my picks to the wrong email address, and thus got a big fat ZERO for week 8. Yup that pretty much sent me to the back of the bus, gonna have to do some serious thinking to try and get back into the money. But the season is only half over, so I could pull it off, with a few really, really, really good weeks. Elsewhere the Oilers lose to Dallas and the bloody Flames get a win, (fuck dirty is gonna be beeking off today) the appocolypse must be close at hand. Another quiet day at the office. Brian has been updated to messenger 7.5 so he has been acting like a kid at christmas all morning, chatting with a couple of birds he met on the weekend. Getting tonnes of work done I am sure. As for me, I need to have the fire contents ready by Monday because the adjuster wants to put an end to this insanity, as well, it turns out the Mortgage company is getting involved with the home owners, so it is gonna get ugly fast. I wish i could just put all that stuff in a truck, and drop it on their doorstep, but no, I will be the middleman and have to deal with all this crap for, at the least, another month. I guess with the long weekend approaching, today would have to be hump day. Nice. Plans are still on for Friday in Banff if Jessica gets her hair done in time. I also invited Karlie to tag along if she wants, the more the marrier I guess(as long as they are hot). Looks like we are just going to go for the day, have some food, check out the sights, maybe do some shopping, and of course try a couple of beers and check out all the hotties. I had wanted to go snowboarding, but it was brought to my attention that it is kind of early and I had to agree, the last thing I want to do, is fuck up my shit. It is also good, because I forgot I have to buy a tuxedo next week, and that is like five hundred fucking bucks. I have been putting it off, and putting it off, but installation is on Dec 1, and I promised Bert I would have it by then, so i guess i gotta just grin and bare it. Guess I will just end up eating kraft dinner for a couple weeks. Well this is kind of a boring entry, but today is kind of a boring day, so just deal with it.

Monday Morning

Driving to work there was a light dusting of frost on everything, like icing sugar on a gingerbread house. The exhaust from cars is visible, and at more than one traffic light I was stuck behind an old desiel pickup truck, spewing out its toxins. The smell of deisel seems thicker in winter, you cant see it but it overrides all your other senses. It doesnt choke you, but your breathing becomes irregular and shallow. I slowed the van down to a crawl, hoping to get behind its draft, and luckily he turned down a side road. The rest of the drive was automatic, and without much memory. I must have slept funny last night, a kink in my neck. I think I left my foam pillow on the sofa, and tried to compensate by stacking a couple older pillows in its place, definately not the same. The office is pretty quiet this morning, as it is most monday mornings when our managers meeting gets cancelled. Rick is still in Penticton, and it being a short week time is spartan. I am hoping that today, and for that matter this week, will be a re-organizing week. If all goes well our tennant in the east bay will be moving out, and I will have the extra space for contents. If this does not happen I am sure tempers and nerves will get a little short, as space around the shop is at a premium. This weekend is a long weekend, with Rememberance Day being Friday. I am hoping to go to Banff, either to snowboard, or simply for a roadtrip. I need to get away from Calgary for a day or so. Need to see the Mountains or the Sea. Anything not fabricated by men. Something to remind me of my smallness, and mother natures greatness. Yes I think Banff would be the perfect spot, and if I am lucky enough I will be accompanied by another of natures beauty's. Awe how sweet am I ;)

Poetry "White Words" 2001 (Montreal Spoken word)

White Words

White Words, words sentenced to rhyme.
Confined and Constricted around ideas
Judged for Merit, structure, and flow
going the way of dinosaurs, as drug induced visions impede the intellect with abstractions void of roots.

White Words, why do you farsake me?
provoke me, embrace me, fuck me
and then leave me, just as I reach climax
on the page before me.
Go. your black lover awaits, ready to rap you into submission, and fill your
tight white love

White Words, words sentence to rhyme.
incarcerated in ignorance, parolled by passion
walking and talking in fragmented conversations
between disconnected lawyers, twisting and turning truth,
building facades of freedom over primordial cages of desire.

White Words, why do you forsake me?
Please, no more, go into that hiphop culture
Court the pounding tribal drums, waiting to rip you open,
stretching your meaning and cramming your elastic truth with dark secrets.

White Words, Fuck off.

Poetry "The Night" 1992

The Night

Deep inside my soul,
across this barren sea.
Lies the place where I am heading,
and where I long to be.

The flowers grow forever,
underneath a clear blue sky.
And when you think of love,
you will never start to cry.

In fact it would be perfect,
if not for this little journey.
Across this barren sea,
feuled by faith, and filled with worry.

Guided from the heart,
but always second guessing.
Is it all in vain?
Is it worth pursueing?

But then I bow my head in prayer,
and realize that this sea.
Perhaps is no more barren,
then the land where I'll soon be.

And now I see the wind and rain,
in quite a different light.
They are not meant to trouble me,
but to guide me through the night.

Poetry "A question" 1992

A Question

What is it that creates a friend?
Is it love? Respect? or maybe just by chance.
And how do I treat one
That has far surpassed first glance?

How do I seperate love and friendship
when both are close to heart?
And the fear of losing both of them,
seems to linger when we part.

Why do I not get jealous,
when i think of love your way?
And how am I able,
to love you more and more each day?

What is it with this friendship,
that has feuled so many rhymes?
That even when we call it quits,
we grow closer every time.

But even more perplexing,
is how? without a clue.
You answer all these questions,
just by being you.

Poetry "Inward" 1991

Inward

In my soul
God is there
Directing me
In my prayer

So when in doubt
Inward turn
And in your soul
Will it be learned

Poetry "Perception" 1986

Perception

A simple poem to waste my time,
is what you want, you say.
I write a poem, and it seems fine,
but then its judged and unjust way.

Its judged by rules which change its text,
which makes me wonder, what comes next?
For poetry is one fine art,
A poets thoughts, put into rythmatic parts.

But s a song changes beat,
Or how a dancer moves her feet.
A poem is the writers thoughts
whether right or wrong
He writes how he wants.

Perception

The imagination is a funny thing, used properly it can create beautiful poetry, novels, and philosopies. But when it runs amuck it creates fear, paranoa, and desolation. Silence is what makes it run amuck. Silence is like a black hole of despair, it warps and distorts the realities of a situation as it sucks you in. I spent the entire day in a slump yesterday, because I let my imagination run amuck. It was pointless.

The lesson has been learned once again, and yet I know that the next time silence comes upon me I will fall back into that black hole, as surely as love will rule the day

The Day After

The night ended early. Too many beers I suppose. Played a few games of pool at Crush, and drank a few beers. Came back to the house to regroup, and drank a few beers. Off to Manhattans and drank a few beers. Then went to NYLA and drank a few beers. I remember the cab, but nothing really after that. From my phone records it looks like someone tried to get buzzed in around midnight, but i did not answer the call. Not sure who it was, but the party must not have ended when i went to bed. No one seems to be answering their phones, so i suppose the party went all night and the others are recouping, but who knows.

I have mixed emotions going through me. The kind you get when you think something might have happenned between friends but you are not sure. There is no reason why it should matter, but for some reason it does, I guess I was fooling myself when I tried to make myself believe I was not falling for her. I am a big boy and I will get over it, it will pass, and normality will return, I hope the same for them. The worst would be silence, the worst is always silence.

Tonight will be Silent.

Friday Friday Friday

Lunch is over and the office is clean. Papers stacked, files put away, computer dusted and trash can empty. Half a can of diet coke with a half of cup of tea beside it. The early part of next week is scheduled, and the boss is out of the office. The clock ticks away, as i sit at my computer and rock in my chair. I finally got my football picks in, a few hours before the deadline for once, and hopefully they will be winners. The weekend wont be here soon enough. The boys just called, happy hour is close at hand. The debate rages on, to go out or stay in. It is always a losing battle, the nights you get excited about, usually end up as duds, and the nights you try to hide from the party, usually end up out of control. I guess that is why i am sitting here a little worried, cause tonight is one of those nights i would love to just stay home, chill out with a bottle of wine, a movie and some good company (preferably the kind that turns your inside soft and outside hard), but unfortunately there are other things going on. The other options for tonight are......Meet the boys at the strippers for happy hour, and let it ride. This is the one that most likely will happen and the one that will most likely turn into a shit show. Ryan has the weekend off. Corey has the weekend off. Jessica has tomorrow off. Wayne is off till December, and yes I have the weekend off. So nothing holding any of us back, that is not a good thing........The other option is Having people over to my house. All the aforementioned things still apply, but at the least i am on home turf. There is a chance that i could relax in the eye of the hurricane, watching the forewinds of debauchery swirl around me, reclined in the comfy chair with the remote in one hand and a gentle glass of wine in the other. There is no Jack Daniels at my place, Jack Daniels has no place in my home, BUT HE DOES AT THE STRIPPERS, there he is king, and i just a Jester. So i guess we will soon find out my fate, a simple roll of the friday dice. I guess the only up side is that win or lose i will be having fun with friends, Things could be worse. Have a great weekend everyone. Keep your stick on the ice and your eye on the puck, or whomever she may be.

The Truth

The truth is a funny thing. As it slips across your tongue you get a feeling like no other. You are almost overcome with joy that you are taking the high road and being honest about your life, (and some of the not-so-intelligent things you have done in your past). There is a release, the confession has been made, no more need to guard it or hold it in. When the conversation is over you sit back and revel in your iown ntegrity........And then you walk away from the conversation, and the fear creeps back. Should you have disclosed the information? How will it be used? Will it be used against you? The release was short lived, the fear has simply morphed into something else. There may be freedom in truth, but it is fleeting.

Winter Wonderland

Driving home last night, from Vulcan, i felt like i was inside a winter globe, you know the kind you shook as a kid. The flakes were large, and as i drove down the rural highway, my headlights reflected off of each and every flake, the windshield showing nothing but channel static. The roads were slick and rutted, occasionally you could hear the crunching beneath the tires as the van pulled to the outside, toward the ditch, and my heart would start to race. My eyes and nerves strained to keep the road in focus, as the thick snow did everything in its power to break me. I felt a sigh of releif as the lights of the city came into view, soon i would be home, safe and warm, and snuggled nicely into bed. This morning i probably could have gotten to work a bit quicker had i dawned skates. I would have been quite the sight sliding in and out of traffic like an olympic speed skater. Dressed in tights, Helmet on, one arm behind my back and the other keeping cadence, swinging from side to side. Too bad there are no traffic circles in calgary, they would be a hoot on skates, sharp gliding turns, gaining speed for the straight away. But instead i crawled into my cold van, turned the heat on full and waited for the ice to melt off the windshield (of course the scraper is missing). After a few minutes of impatience i finally give in and give it a good dose of windshield wiper fluid. Luckily it works, usually the ice crystals start to migrate and branch out the moment you turn the wipers off, but not this morning, this morning the chinook air must be blowing down the drive and the windshield is clear as day. So i am off to pick up Jen, i hope she is on time. The first snowfall, also means the first morning that everyone has a valid excuse for being late, and as expected everyone other than myself and Rick, has used this option. So the office is quiet, as i write in my blog, and listen for the kettle to boil, so that i can make tea. There it goes, and with it, so do i.

November Rain

Well it is November but there is no rain. You can feel the November chill in the morning when you walk to the car, a few more weeks and there will be ice on the windshield, but luckily not today. Daylight savings time went into effect this weekend so the drive was a little lighter than last week. However with the early sunrise, comes the early sunsets, and a peculiar primal need to hibernate. Last night the early darkness caused me to fall asleep a couple of times, on the couch, in front of the television, watching the Steelers and the Ravens battle in a game that should have been a blow out. The Steelers end up scraping by with a single point victory. And with them unable to cover the 7.5 point spread, i will end the week with a mere 6 games in my football pool. A mediocre week in football, a mediocre weekend, yes fall is in the air. Tonight I will be heading to Vulcan for a game supper. The menu should include Antelope, Bison, Goose, Duck, Venison, Salmon and a few other regular fairs. Tappers will be going with me, and possibly his father, actually just called and it will just be him and I. The GrandMaster and a few DDGM's will be in attendance so it should be a good event to show our faces and to pass on fraternal greetings from Zetland. I really hope that a few more of the brethran will get active with visitation. But if not we will have to just do it ourselves and hope that by the time we ascend the chairs visitation will be a greater priority. I step up into the JD chair on thursday, which means a few more years and i will be in the big one, not sure if i am ready for it, but i will take it one day at a time. I guess i will close with a Hello to Jessica, the only other person who knows this blog exists. After reading her Blogs over the past weeks, i thought it might be fun to try, and so far so good. I am not sure how many people i will tell about it, but i guess that depends on the quality of my writing and the quality of my thoughts. And with that, i will bid the blog adieu.