It comes but once a year

Well it is that day again. I have never been accused of being the one who lets things go easily. I am the guy who dwells on the past, and spends too much time contemplating what could have been, and not enough time preparing for what is. However, I think I have done a pretty good job of letting some things go this year.

This blog entry is primarily for me, and wont make sense to anybody else save one. I can honestly say that I have let go of the fantasy I had created around those fond memories i thought we shared. I have accepted you for what you have always been, and not what I made you out to be. And yet, on this day, my mind does embrace your memory and the friendship we once shared.

Your name came up a few weeks ago with an old friend, whom I hadnt seen in a number of years. And I learned that you had come in contact with her sometime in the past year. I was strong enough to not delve too much into your life, and thus, keep the distance in your absense, as i would in your presence. I hope you are well. I hope your family is well. And I simply wish you a happy birthday, and another year of life, love, and happiness. You will always be in my prayers, but you can be confident that I am starting to look forward, and hopefully, though slowly, becoming the man you long told me i could become.

God Bless

9 cranes on the way to work

I used to say you could tell how fast a city is growing by looking at the skyline. Today I drove to work and counted 9 construction cranes on my way to work. Now that is not the total number in the calgary skyline, that is simply how many I passed on my way to work. To say that Calgary is exploding would be an understatement of the wildest proportions.

I heard on the news that inflation in our fair city was 6.9% last year, which means that I need a 7% raise just to be making what I made last year. I just hope the boss-man was watching the same program as I, because May is just around the corner, and well May is annual performance time.

The average house in Calgary is up again, now sitting at just under half a million dollars. Now I am no economist but something has to give. I mean, from what I can tell most average people are making between 50G and about 80G, yet people keep signing mortgages for 400+000, thats 20G a year in interest. How does this work? How does a family making 120G a year pay 20G a year in interest and not go broke. The real estate agents say you gain it in equity, well how do you gain it in equity before you sell. You pay 20G in interest and the only thing that changes is you have more equity to borrow more money to pay more interest. Please if there is an economist out there that can somehow make sense of this I would love to read your comments or refer me to "how the rich get richer dot com."

If I was a pesemist, and well when it comes to real estate I am, I would say that people have got themselves into a pickle. They bought houses, and borrowed against the hyper-inflated equity they feel they have in them, so now they either have to sell for the hyper-inflated price or go broke. I think this because I get to watch all those reality shows, showing people who have a huge mortgage and owe like 40G on their credit cards WOAH. Again I dont get this.

I am no money guru, infact I am probably the most financially inept person out there, but at the same time, I do know that I cant afford a half a million dollar house. I dont care if it might be worth 3/4 of million in a year. And I dont care what other hair brain money making schemes are out there. History tells us that when you see a market like this, with people just trying to scrape by, but then talking about equity markets, and tax havens, while "leasing" vehicles and trying to convince themselves that the mortgage that they just signed, and cant afford is going to make them rich beyond belief.....well when you see a market like that run.....cause somethings gotta give.....they call it a "correction" and I am putting my money on a small one "sooner" rather than "later" infact I will go on record thats something is gotta give in less than 3 years. I dont know what it will be, or what it will look like....but when it happens i will let you know.

Now enough of my crystal ball for today.....whos coming for pints tomorrow. We can talk "real" estate, and by that I mean we can talk about that hottie serving it up for us. Thats what I would like to invest in this year, a nice piece of "real" estate.

Ciao

A little Funk

Well I know that time of year is right around the corner, when I start getting into this spring funk. It usually shows its face right around "her" birthday, and that is only a week away, so spring is in the air, the flowers are in bloom and every other cliche is piled up in my closet waiting to be taken out with the trash.

For me its just a funk. That feeling that life is not on track. That feeling that you have invested too much time in things that will never bring you happiness, and neglected to invest time into those people that just might. I had a great chat with Natasha online today. It was nice to hear her perspectives on things. After all her life has been quite tumultuous this past year. I found it kind of interesting to hear that I used to be the one telling people to look on the bright side of things, to relax and just go with the flow. I was the guy jumping on a plane to Europe, hiking across Europe. I was the guy with more self confidence that common sense. And yes I was the guy who was stereotypically happy.

So what has changed. That's a tough one. Natasha says it sounds like I am letting people judge me, and that in return, I am judging others. That is definitely not the old Ian. The new Ian does seem judgmental and self debasing. When asked what I am passionate about I no longer have an answer. Before I had my writing, but even my writing as of late does not even attempt to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it simple stares at it, and makes jokes about the silly leprechaun.

I am not really sure how all of this is going to play out. Probably just need to decide once and for all what I want out of life. I mean I have somehow managed to get everything else in life that I have focused on. Maybe I am just scared to go after what I really want cause I am afraid I will fail. Or, maybe I just need to get on a plane and hang with tasha for a week in DC. Visit George W, and have a couple pints at the Front Page. If I cant figure out what I want in DC something is wrong with me, hell G.W figured out what he wanted there, and he has damn well turned the world upside down going after it.

Anyway this blog is over. It is as scattered as my thoughts lately, and if it made any sense it would not be a true representation of what i am feeling. NUFF said.....oh ya, i passed my instructors course and will just need to get monitored in the coming weeks before I can venture out on my own.

Thanks Tash....hope to see you soon

First Aid First Aid

I think I took my very first, first aid course when I was about 13. And then it was pretty much part of my life until I was in my early twenties. I became a lifeguard in my college days, which just meant more first aid. First Aid First Aid First Aid. And then I left all of that behind, and somehow got enchanted by the nightclub business. Then there was no-more first aid.

Yesterday (some 15 years after leaving it behind) I started my St. Johns Ambulance Instructor Program. The group I am working with is as well rounded as one would hope. We have an EMT, a WCB case worker, a safety coordinator, a bus driver, and a future firefighter, and a housewife. Most are in the program so that they can make some extra cash. Only myself and one other candidate are in primarily to allow us to train our in-house personnel. However, after hearing how short St. Johns is for the instructors I am seriously considering giving up a few weekends to make a few extra dollars, God knows I could use them trying to survive here in Calgary.

Anyway, I just wanted to comment in this blog on how quickly certain things come back to you. Going through the lessons I sometimes find my thoughts wandering back to the water park, studying my signs and symptoms with Cara Anderson, or doing drills with Dave Contardi, and who could forget secondaries on Leanne Stewart....that was her name wasn't it Wayne....oh my my.....those were huge tracks of land.

A few weeks ago when Wayne and I were enjoying a beer with Chris he made a comment on how people seem to come around to those things they know. And this course is reminding me what I knew, and what I was doing prior to reaching for that brass ring. I am not really sure how Karma works, but it is ironic how my life is lining up quite similarly to the way it was before I made that incorrect decision to explore the nightlife.

Back then I was a lifeguard at the world waterpark who got called on by the marketing department to take a shot at promotions. And now I am a safety officer for a company that is asking me to assist with their marketing initiatives. Site Inspections and Trade Shows all in one. Just like the good old days of working the first aid room by day, and dawning the mallphin costume by night. Ah isn't life a trip

I will be happy to get through this course and become a certified instructor, not just so I can train our staff more effectively, but also for the opportunity to work with St. Johns. And not just because I will have a chance to make some extra cash, but because I will have a new and positive outlet for some of my energies and talents that don't involve sitting at the end of the bar.

That's all from me for today.....Hope everyone is well....I will be in Edmonton Tue and Wednesday so I hope to see at least a few of you up north....Kelly, Tina, and course I will have to make a trip to see Danger Williams in his elements. NMZ out

Return of the Mac

Well Cory returned from his four month vacation yesterday to a house full of well wishers and liver-destroyers. Luckily I kept my wits about the whole thing and only joined them for few bevies, some food, and a couple games of pool. As was noted in the GLZ blog, his wit has been missed, and although it would be silly to try to remember every word out of his mouth I will just make a short list of those comment which I remember most

1) SHUTUP....or I will give you so many rights you will think you are a treaty indian.
2) Have you ever curled...I think that with curling you need to be really stoned so you can line the rock up and make it go straight...you know get in the zone.....but then you need to be really drunk, like on gin or rye so you can SWEEEEEEEEP really hard.
3) What do you call a drunk Leb......Hammed.....What do you call a really drunk Leb.....Mo Hammed.
4) I am not leaving here until I drink a thousand rye and cokes.
and finally
5) I could be a better defenseman than him if I was a pylon with a hockey stick duct taped around me

Ah yes and there was something about him giving every guy in the world a blow-job if he lost some bet. However, luckily no-one took the bet.

Well that is all for me today, Welcome home Cory and we look forward to some new blog entries, some more great shots of sexy teen sandy, and of course that wit that we have come to expect.

NMZ out

The Mountain to Mohamed

Well once again Zetland took the Mountain to Mohamed. Or at least that is the best way to describe it. It is something that we started last year, and that I am very proud of. As many of our fraternal brothers are entering the yellow leaf of their lives, some are unable to travel to lodge, because of their health, and are living in assisted residences. Luckily these homes are extremely modern facilities complete with meeting rooms large enough to facilitate a meeting.

So last night for the second time in as many years, the officers and brethren packed up our pillars, gavels, staffs, and collars and headed to the Beverly Centre in South Calgary. Our guests of honor were two esteemed brethren and residents of the centre. I will not disclose their names but I will tell you a bit about them because it was awesome to sit with these gentlemen in open lodge.

The first gentleman was born in 1912, and raised in 1944. And get this he was a DDGM in 1957. Ya 1957, which means he was a Grand Lodge Officer ten years before my father was even born. He was a military man, and even at 94 his mind is as sharp as a tack, even got up to address the lodge, with a little speach and a little poem. The other brother was again an x grand lodge officer. A member of Bow Valley lodge whom his fellow brethren spoke of fondly. He is 98, and many of the bow valley brethren were able to circulate stories from his exploits in lodge. If I remember correctly both have recieved their 60 year jewel.

Now for most of you out there that are not members of the fraternity, much of what I just said will not make sense, and you might not have any context to put it in, so let me take a few sentences to shed some light on the practical side of things.

These gentlemen belong to a club, a club that we call a fraternity. And in the prime of their lives both excelled to a place of prominence within that club. They did that through their charity in big and small things. Now some people dont really understand the word charity. For in modern times this word has come to mean something other than what its original meaning reflects. We think of charity as handing out money to faceless people. This I must argue gives a false idea of what the word really means. The word "charity" comes from the greek word "agape". Agape basically means "a selfless love from one person to another". Its doing things for someone because we want to do it, not because we feel obligated or we feel pressured. It is actually WANTING to do it.

So in closing I am grateful for the charity these gentlemen showed to us last night, by allowing us into their lives and their home. And in sharing their history, so that all of us might have a better life-blueprint to emulate, as we try to decorate our own lives with things like Benevolence and Charity.

Ryan Smyth...Feb 27...I think he'll be back

Well I have had a few days to digest the news, and to recover from all the shananigans on Trade Deadline Day. It started out pretty normal and I didnt see any of it coming. For most of the morning people kept popping into my office saying "Did you hear Smyth got traded to Toronto" I quickly punched away at the computer trying to confirm, but to no avail. A few moments later the phone Rang "Did you hear Smyth got traded to the Devils" Again, onto the computer but nothing. This kept happening for most of the morning. Its not easy being an Oilers fan in Calgary, but when people got your number they definately exploit it.

So when Rennie finally called around 2:30 with the Islander news I didnt readily bite. I basically just snubbed him off and I might have even told him where to go before hanging up the phone. Then Ryan (different Ryan) came in my office and told me to come into his. There it was on the screen. TSN had the official news of his trade. I looked at it in disbelief then I came back into my office and shut the door. I read. I read. I clicked. I read. It was official Ryan Smyth was no longer an Oiler. This is not easy to compute

Now I guess for the sake of posterity I should weigh in on this debate. At first I did not see any rhyme or reason to this trade. So he wants a little more money. He's worth it. But then you think of Lowe and the point he is trying to make. Ya point taken. But at the end of the day, This is Ryan Smyth, and yes he deserves to be making what other players of his calibre are making, and frankly that is what he was asking.

So I thought about it some more. Ryan will still be up for grabs in the off season. The Oilers chances of making the playoffs were looking slim. The Islanders are still making a run. There is a 1st round draft choice in the deal. hmmmmm what could be up here. Then it hit me (and most non-oilers fans think i am reaching here) What if Ryan is just going for the end of the season. What if Lowe is thinking I can let him go for the rest of the season. I can unite oilers fans in their desire to have me killed, and then in July I can sign him back. Not only sign him back, but maybe Ryan will actually do the unthinkable in professional sports, maybe I can get Ryan to say "You know what, its not all about the money, I love edmonton, I love the Oilers I dont want to live in NYC, Lets split the difference and I will come back to Edmonton" Then the 5 Edmonton fans that were not Ryan Smyth fans are. And millions of other hockey fans around the globe see what a great guy Smyth is, and they too become Oiler fans. Kim Yuong Il even thinks he is great and the stalemate between NKorea and the West gets solved. Then Iraqi's see how great he is and they too want to have a society like ours......ok wait i think i am getting ahead of myself.

Anyway the long of the short of it is.....I think he is coming back.....This might be text book denial, and I might need to seek professional help, but that is my story and when he is back on Edmonton soil, you will all be in awe of my superior hockey analyzing skills